Any tips for fixing a phobia?

[Linds]

Well, I have been trying to get over this silly irrational fear of spiders for quite some time. I have conquered the fear completely of those little jumping spiders and those white spiders don't scare me either. I can be in the same room as all spiders now which is a big step. Daddy Long Legs still scare the hell right outta me though. I can look at T's now, and the like, I was even able to feed and water the one we had for a short while at work (they are illegal so we don't sell them, we had one for educational purposes for a while but every single person there was scared of it so the little guy didn't last long with us before being traded for something else :rolleyes: ). LOL mind you I would get so hot everytime I had to give it food or water and I don't know what would've happened if it move quickly :eek: I have come a long way in powering through this phobia, however still not enough. I was looking at T's at arachnomania's booth at the show and some were quite beautiful, but as soon as I saw those big Curly Hair T's a little panic streak went through my bones. I was fine looking at the rest, but those guys gave me a good chill. My problem is I don't know of anyone in the area that would be able to help me get over the fear of these animals. It really sucks because I think they are so beautiful and would love to keep one. I was wondering whether it would help if I got one as a lil spiderling and grew with it? Does anyone have any advice for me? I really would like to keep one some day, there are some real beauties out there :) *so conflicted*

[~Suntiger~]

Maybe you could try getting to know someone else's first? Get to know it, hold it, just hang out with the little critter in general.
The thing to keep in mind, is PIPECLEANERS...(that is exactly what it feels like when they walk over you.) If you aren't afraid of those, then you're good to go!

Sounds like you've come a long way already, so I bet you'll have no problem getting through the rest of your phobia! Good luck!!

[drewlowe]

I had a fear of snakes and spiders. Both are not completly gone but they are very managable. For me i did research and found corn snakes to be one of the most docile and great beginner snake so i bought 1 then a week later i bought a second, i'm glad i did to i absoultly love them both. I did the same thing with spiders i did some research found rose hairs to be one of the best begginers and ended up buying one. If someone tries to help me i find it's worse than it was when it started. I have to take things into my own hands (so to speak). Now i'm not 100% "cured" but it's a very managable. I would def. have more of both if i had more space.

Jamie

[Auskan]

Linds, I don't know if this would help or not. I love to watch documentary type programs like what they show on Discovery channel. I found that watching programs on spiders gave me a whole new appreciation for them (although I've always been fascinated by them & never had any fear, so I was starting from a different place than you). But I wonder if you watched these kinds of programs (our local library even has videos on different types of spiders) might help you to get over your fear a little. I.e., by seeing what wonderful and unique creatures they are....

[Invictus]

Do what I did. Get about 16 beers into you, find someone who has a really docile pink toe, and say "Shhhhhure... I'll <expletive> hold the lil' sssspider...."

I'm almost cured because of that experience. :D I, like you, used to be TERRIFIED of them.

[Cruciform]

The one problem with watching documentaries on them is when they do the close-up on the face so that it fills a big screen TV with unspeakable horror :)
I found that wasn't so helpful. :) Holding a pink-toe in my hand was fairly therapeutic though.

[ChokeOnSmoke]

I second Ken's idea.. and if that doesn't work try vodka

[Cruciform]

There's always LSD too. Just pretend that the bugs crawling all over you are spiders :)

[SaIiLdVaEnR]

Hey Linds,

I'd be happy to help you at the next reptile expo with your fear. I have a 6 inch Rosea that is the most docile little girl ever. She's never reared up or shown her fangs and would just sit happily on your hand for hours if you let her.

Aidan

[Cruciform]

You'd think a spider would look at a human the same way a college kid looks at a keg.

[Pixie]

1. Having a friend with a tarantula that is handleable
2. Getting your own tarantula

Getting a tarantula of your own would be the best step in helping you with your phobia. Just having it around and learning more about them through personal experience is the best way to get over your fear.

A friend with hands on experience with Ts is very helpful too! For example, I had my first T Charlotte for 2 years before attempting to handle her. I was quite happy with a nice display pet so I wasn't in a hurry to hold her but once I did, it was the best! Now, I still have a healthy respect for all my Ts but don't fear them whatsoever.

Once you learn how they are and how they function, you will lose your "irrational" fears about them. I found that my first handling experience to be the bigger breakthrough in dealing with my fears.

Good luck, I say get the prettiest docile species you like and go from there. I find that I much prefer dealing with sub-adults or adults as slings can be quicker and easier to lose! I would recommend a T 2" or more for your first.

Pixie



If you're too scared to get one yourself just yet, a friend that has one and can show you how to handle them is quite reassuring.

[Big_V]

Someone just hold her down and put the spider on her. That should work. LOL. If she cant move and has no choice the fear will be gone quite quickly.

[UpscaleBoas]

my advice is take it slow......my fear is hights.....man a 5th floor balcony would have my head spinning....so i thought skydiving would be the answer.....

went through the 8 hour training.......was doing great....go up in to the plane and managed to get into position in the door...the instructor yelled 1....2....3... and slapped my butt to make me juemp.....i don't move.....1.....2....3.....again she hits me.....no movement......1....2....3... this time she kick my A$$ out the door.....thank God it was a tandum jump and the cord get pulled because our tied to the plane.....

and ways....now if i look out a 2nd floor window i get virtigo......lol

take it slow...baby steps...

[Toirtis]

Come spend a week at my place during the summer....I have buckets of big house spiders in my house and garage, and spiders everywhere you look along the side of the house, in my garden and yard....you simply get used to them.

[C.m.pyrrhus]

Just about everyones advise is good. Just do it and take it easy. This, although a crappy pic, is what I do during our tarantule season here in Arizona, play with em! Never had a single one act aggresive, maybe cuz they have lovin' on their minds. I will bet your phobia melts away and you will soon be collecting these guys as well.

[Auskan]

Originally posted by UpscaleBoas
thank God it was a tandum jump and the cord get pulled because our tied to the plane.....


You did a tandem static line jump? I've never heard of such a thing. My first jump was a static line jump and it used to be the way most first jumps were made, but that was before tandems were invented. Once they started making tandems, it started to be the preferred method of letting someone experience a first jump without having to go through all the training required for a s/l jump. Usually training for a tandem is only about 30 mins long. And usually with a tandem you go up to altitude and have a long (30+ second) freefall before opening, whereas a s/l jump opens the canopy within a few seconds of exiting the plane.

[sleddergirl]

I explained in another post how terrified I was of spiders before we got MJ............I found that the more I found out about them, the less I feared them. Since the first day we got her, she was in our room, so sleeping in the same room as a T helped a lot. We have now had MJ for a year and a half or so and my husband has handled her a few times, but I still can't bring myself to handle her. BUT......I will put my hand in her enclosure to change her water bowl, etc. and that amazes my husband, knowing how scared I was of them. We picked up another from Arachnomania at the show, "it" is a lot less docile than MJ though and that little bugger makes me nervous. At this point, I am happy to not be absolutely terrified of them............don't expect too much of yourself too quick............you've managed to get yourself to a great point already, the rest will come slowly, just take it at your own pace and try not to rush it..............JMO

[Yve]

upscale boas....lol....that is a funny story...i get vertigo too and want to go jumping as well....I figure...look fear in the face and laugh and it won't really know you're scared.....lol
Linds, i was totally freaked out by millipedes..the sent chills down my spine just looking at them....I'm usually compeled to fight against my fears so everytime I went to an expo...I'd look at them and then I decided to hold one....after that experience looking at them didn't scare me anymore....I held them a few times and then bought 2....now I own 6...I love them...its not just learning about them but taking little steps in dealing with them.
One thing though I don't like surprises....lol...the other day I slid open the lid of my milli tank and I heard some weird rustling...so I looked around and didn't see anything....when I went to slide the screen closed my hand touched my giant milli which was crawling on the roof....I swear I did the ol' fashion horror movie shriek with a few shudders!lol

[Jeff_Favelle]

I'll ya one thing Linds, do not surround yourself with tarantulas!!! LOL! I'm totally freaked out of spiders, so about 8 years ago, I thought it would be cool to try and breed them! Yeah, I didn't sleep for like 4 months straight. Buh-bye spiders. Wholesaled the lot of them!

Yeck. Some things just freak us out. I think if maybe you were to learn a specific fact, like a really neat piece of natural history, that might make them less scary. I don't know. Seems to work with people and snakes. Gives them something else to think about I guess.

[Linds]

LOL I think this is the longest reply with the most quotes I have ever, and probably will ever, type! :p

Originally posted by SaIiLdVaEnR
I'd be happy to help you at the next reptile expo with your fear. I have a 6 inch Rosea that is the most docile little girl ever. She's never reared up or shown her fangs and would just sit happily on your hand for hours if you let her.


That would be awesome! :D LOL... even the thought of it sends a warm rush over me... need to fix that! :rolleyes:

Originally posted by ~Suntiger~
Maybe you could try getting to know someone else's first? Get to know it, hold it, just hang out with the little critter in general.
The thing to keep in mind, is PIPECLEANERS...(that is exactly what it feels like when they walk over you.) If you aren't afraid of those, then you're good to go!


Unfortunately I don't know anyone near me that I can go get used to theirs :confused: Well, I know one person that aquired a small pink toe. Haven't seen it yet, she's had it for a few months now. I guess it is about 2". It wouldn't get me any further a long looking at it though, she's scared of spiders too and doesn't handle hers because it darts at her face. I would love to have the opportunity to get to know someone else's before trying to get one myself :)

Originally posted by sleddergirl
I found that the more I found out about them, the less I feared them.
Originally posted by Auskan
Linds, I don't know if this would help or not. I love to watch documentary type programs like what they show on Discovery channel. I found that watching programs on spiders gave me a whole new appreciation for them (although I've always been fascinated by them & never had any fear, so I was starting from a different place than you). But I wonder if you watched these kinds of programs (our local library even has videos on different types of spiders) might help you to get over your fear a little. I.e., by seeing what wonderful and unique creatures they are....

I wish I could manage it that way. It is just one of those silly irrational phobias though. I've read about them (lol took a while because I couldn't even handle looking at them in books or online for the longest time :o ) and I know they aren't scary... I don't have a problem with any other inverts (well, those house millipedes freak me out :eek: ), just something about when I look at them totally scares me, especially if they move. I guess that's the "irrational" part....lol :p

Originally posted by Yve
One thing though I don't like surprises....lol...the other day I slid open the lid of my milli tank and I heard some weird rustling...so I looked around and didn't see anything....when I went to slide the screen closed my hand touched my giant milli which was crawling on the roof....I swear I did the ol' fashion horror movie shriek with a few shudders!lol

LOL! :p

Originally posted by Jeff_Favelle
I'll ya one thing Linds, do not surround yourself with tarantulas!!! LOL! I'm totally freaked out of spiders, so about 8 years ago, I thought it would be cool to try and breed them! Yeah, I didn't sleep for like 4 months straight. Buh-bye spiders. Wholesaled the lot of them!


LMAO!!! :p I can just picture it! I won't make the same mistake you did... I'll just keep surrounding myself with scales :D

Originally posted by Invictus
Do what I did. Get about 16 beers into you, find someone who has a really docile pink toe, and say "Shhhhhure... I'll <expletive> hold the lil' sssspider...."


LOL happened once at a show very briefly in the dark basment. Not so much got to hold it as it scurried across part of my hand, but they put it away because it was stressed. It was too dark to even see - or maybe I had my eyes closed...lmao :p

Originally posted by UpscaleBoas
my advice is take it slow......my fear is hights.....man a 5th floor balcony would have my head spinning....so i thought skydiving would be the answer.....

LOL. I have developed a fear of heights over the past few years. I get to the top of anything and just feel like my legs are gonna throw myself right off. I've never let it slow me down, and in fact have decided to take up rock climbing :p I went indoor rock climbing last weekend with my boyfriend for the first time. I'm thinking when it gets warmer (I'm a suck, no cold for me) donig the 80' rappelling lesson....weeeeeeeeee :eek:

[Emily-Fisher]

Hmmm... arachnids are really interesting creatures... but they aren't that scary when you actually start to understand what they really are! They're basically hamsters with eight legs, no backbone, and lots of eyes... which is pretty freaky..

I too think that having a friend who owns a couple tarantulas and just watching them for a while would be enough. Watch your friend fearlessly feed them and give them water. Watch them handle the T without a problem. The tarantula isn't doing anything bad, right? So why would the tarantula suddenly become aggressive when you handle her? I guess the most important thing is understanding why you are afraid of them. Are you scared of their aggressive temperment? Do some research on the more docile species. You'll discover that they truly are like newly born puppies... all mellow and soft.. Are you scared of their appearance? Think of it this way.. you like snakes, right? What's weirder... having eight legs or having no legs? When it comes to limbs, tarantulas are more like us in that kind of way because they move around the same way that we do; with legs. They have hair like mammals. Like every other living creature, they eat, sleep, drink, and reproduce. They shed/molt like snakes and lizards.

This is probably a really useless post but my point is that tarantulas really aren't that different from other animals. Every animal is very different in their own special way. There's really nothing to be scared of but like I said, try to understand why you are scared of them and then work on that part of your phobia. Look at photos of tarantulas. Instead of pointing out the negative parts, try to take note of the positive parts and appreciate them. If you get in the habit of thinking positively about tarantulas, soon you wont even notice the scary parts at all, thus, your phobia should "calm down" a bit. I doubt that I helped much but hey, at least I tried!! :D

[Linds]

Another thing I have noticed. The t's that have a velvety appearance to them freak me out more. LOL it's pretty funny, but I even practice "petting" pictures of them :p

Originally posted by Emily-Fisher
I too think that having a friend who owns a couple tarantulas and just watching them for a while would be enough. Watch your friend fearlessly feed them and give them water. Watch them handle the T without a problem. The tarantula isn't doing anything bad, right? So why would the tarantula suddenly become aggressive when you handle her? I guess the most important thing is understanding why you are afraid of them. Are you scared of their aggressive temperment? Do some research on the more docile species. You'll discover that they truly are like newly born puppies... all mellow and soft.. Are you scared of their appearance? Think of it this way.. you like snakes, right? What's weirder... having eight legs or having no legs? When it comes to limbs, tarantulas are more like us in that kind of way because they move around the same way that we do; with legs. They have hair like mammals. Like every other living creature, they eat, sleep, drink, and reproduce. They shed/molt like snakes and lizards. ...

... If you get in the habit of thinking positively about tarantulas, soon you wont even notice the scary parts at all, thus, your phobia should "calm down" a bit.

That is the problem. I have fed and watered a t (rosehair) before, I have watched them to death in stores, pictures, television, etc. In fact I have had a fascination with them since I was a child, but at the same time had an unexplainable fear. No amount of research will fix this, as it is an irrational fear, not a fear of the unknown. I'm not afraid of aggression, or anything like that (lol... if that were the case I would be in LOADS of trouble between my own collection and work :p), nor do I view them in a negative light. I think they are truly beautiful animals that I would love to own, but something just comes over me and freaks me out when they get near. You are right in saying there is nothing to fear about them, but its a natural reaction my body has towards them. I know in my mind they are just another animal. It is ridiculous and I wish I knew how to make it go away :confused: My friend doesn't fearlessly feed and water hers, in fact she is scared of it and won't handle it because everytime she has tried the little guy has apparently darted towards her face :eek: So that really won't help me either :(

[Tim_Cranwill]

I tried to get up the courage at the Red Deer show last year to hold a T or a scorpion... no go. :D Maybe this year.... if I'm drunk at the show! ;)

I'm always impressed with people who are afraid of snakes that will touch one of mine or at least get close to it and learn about it. That takes guts.

I think it's 50% learned and 50% in my blood for me. My whole family is scared of spiders and crickets and all that stuff. But like Linds said, they are just animals. It makes no sense to be scared of a little spider as mush as it makes no sense to be scared of a little ball python or corn snake.

Anyway Linds, if you find something that works, let me know. I'm not interested in owning one but I'd like to get over my silly fear. :D

Jeff, nice idea. That's EXACTLY what would happen with me! :D LOL

[LPacker79]

I don't believe that a fear of spiders is something you're born with. I have never met a young child that was afraid of spiders until they hit age 4 or 5. Fear of spiders (and other creepy crawlies) is a product of a child's environment. The parents are afraid, which eventually becomes the child's fear. Take my 5 year old nephew for example. When Anthony was very young he would grab me by the hand to show me the spider he found (usually a daddy long legs, which isn't even a spider). When the Spiderman movie came out, Anthony's mother and stepfather took him to see it. Ever since then, he's been terrified of spiders. All he can talk about is how the big mean spider bit Peter Parker. He won't enter my spider room, but it's to the point now where he will at least stand in the doorway. If you visit any tarantula forum, you'll see plenty of pictures of children handling T's with no fear. They were raised with T's and never had a fear of them ingrained in their brain.
I know a lot of people that are T enthusiasts originally started out with 1 T just to cure their phobia of spiders. These people now have no fear whatsoever, and many of them have quite a collection now. It's obviously not a cure for everybody, as evidenced by the person above who bred them for a while and still was terrified. But for some it can be quite helpful.

[Tim_Cranwill]

Well, I've made a conscious effort to not "pass it on" to my kids but they still hate bugs.... interesting topic though. I remember discussing it on here a while back.

[UpscaleBoas]

hey Auskin....sorry ..your right it was a stactic jump not a tandum....in case anyone is interested...it was Toronto Skydiving school....great people.....there

[Linds]

Originally posted by LPacker79
I don't believe that a fear of spiders is something you're born with. I have never met a young child that was afraid of spiders until they hit age 4 or 5. Fear of spiders (and other creepy crawlies) is a product of a child's environment. The parents are afraid, which eventually becomes the child's fear.

Well, my parents aren't afraid (well my mom doesn't much care for them, but it isn't something she tried to instill in me - I even have childrens books that are all about all sorts of bugs that my mom provided me with when I was growing up). First experience with a spider I remember having was when I was 3 and a daddy long legs crawled up inside my pant leg and I couldn't get it out and just panicked. My dad used to chase me with spiders as well, but this was at the point where I already feared them. I don't think that would do it though, he used to throw toads on me when I was sleeping, same as with moles and other animals around the yard... never developed a fear of those.

[Jeff_Favelle]

This thread rocks! I think we can really learn something about the root of fears here, and maybe apply it to our hobby with the general public. Nothing but good can from talking about it.

[TheRedDragon]

I was EXTREMELY terrified of spiders overall. The way I overcame my phobia was spending my time educating myself on them. Then, when I was working with Scales Zoo, I handled their new little Pink Toe on a whim, and after that I knew I HAD to get one. So, I got an adult Pink Toe, and shortly after, a juvenille Rose Hair.

[SaIiLdVaEnR]

If I was starting out and afraid of T's, I would get a rosea before an avicularia. Both are docile but avics can get quite jumpy if startled or moved suddenly.

Aidan

[Linds]

Originally posted by SaIiLdVaEnR
If I was starting out and afraid of T's, I would get a rosea before an avicularia. Both are docile but avics can get quite jumpy if startled or moved suddenly.


LOL that would explain my friend's T. She doesn't handle it because she is afraid of it, I guess anytime she's taken it out it darts up her arm towards her face :eek:

[daver676]

I wouldn't say I have arachnophobia, but my other half does. We are just uneducated about them. I don't like spiders, but I'm trying to get over that. Whenever I spot one around the house (with the exeption of wolf spiders and those huge outdoor spiders (you know the ones)*shiver*), I attempt to handle it, and release it in the garden outside.