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Lisa
11-30-03, 03:01 PM
On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves
and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty
years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years.
Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by
the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks
past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years
and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day, God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
people,do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year
lifespan."

Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't
think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the
ten the dog gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back.
That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play,
have sex, enjoy, and do nothing. For the next forty years, we
slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years,
we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for
the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.

Yness
11-30-03, 03:13 PM
Lisa you always post the best stuff

SerpentLust
11-30-03, 03:18 PM
Hahaha I like that one :D

Jenn

Neo
11-30-03, 06:13 PM
haha that was great

chas*e
11-30-03, 09:51 PM
where do you get this stuff

ChristinaM
12-01-03, 08:05 AM
ya know, that one is right on the money :o

Lisa
12-01-03, 01:14 PM
Originally posted by chas*e
where do you get this stuff

People send them to me in email

Chelydraman
12-01-03, 05:30 PM
That was awesome keep posting these wonderful jokes

reptiguy123
02-21-04, 10:03 PM
What is that avatar? A turtle?

Big_V
02-21-04, 10:42 PM
Great post there Lisa. I love stuff like that. So very very true.
Cheers,
Ryan

CHRISANDBOIDS14
02-22-04, 01:57 AM
HAHAHA AWESOME! Thanks for the laugh!

reptiguy123
02-22-04, 05:08 PM
I decided to bring this thread back, cause it was so funny. look at the date!