The Worst Snake Movie of All-time

[MouseKilla]

A lot of people have seen the movie "Anaconda" where an impossibly big snake cruises around eating people in South America until Ice Cube an JLo get there and straighten it out. The only thing less realistic than the snake in this movie is the scene where Jon Voight wins a fight with Ice Cube. I mean COME ON!! Cube would punk that old man down! Unfortunately this isn't the worst snake movie I've seen. There's one out there called "PYTHON" with Robert Englund (aka Freddy Kruegger). This one is so bad it rivals Footloose, but there aren't any Kevin Bacon movies with snakes in them, that I know of anyway, so that isn't fair to compare them. If anyone knows of any other really awful ones I'd love to hear about them, I like to watch movies that are so bad that it's funny. Also if anyone has seen any good snake movies I would like to hear about those too because as far as I know they are all bad.

[burmer]

Yeah I agree Python sucked big time. There was also a 70's movie with snakes in a swamp with some freaky guy. It was so bad I don't even remember the name.

[SCReptiles]

I have very bad news. BOA was much worse then Anaconda or python. In this one you have 80’ boa on the lose at the South Pole. =) Yes, you heard me right. Running around in the coldest climate on earth.

[jncoclub]

I swear at Blockbuster Retal there was a movie titled "VIPER" and it showed a boa on the front- looked kind of like a redtail, but with dentures in it's mouth. :rolleyes: Scarey!!

[Matt]

Silent Predators was pretty bad too...

it was about rattlesnakes, but they used carpet pythons as doubles for the rattlers when they were near the people :(

[Bryce Masuk]

Originally posted by SCReptiles
I have very bad news. BOA was much worse then Anaconda or python. In this one you have 80’ boa on the lose at the South Pole. =) Yes, you heard me right. Running around in the coldest climate on earth.

Lmfao Did it breathe fire too? it must have had a polar bear fur coat to stay warm :) LOL

[stkkts]

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000053VC7.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Ladies, I got 6 feet of pure terror for ya. ;) .......oh man, that was corny.

[SCReptiles]

http://secw.bravepages.com/Chuck/scr/boacover.jpg

[jncoclub]

Ok- good researchers- I had a different cover in mind- I'll go to the store tonight and try to find it again... there is a "deadly" boa on the cover of some movie. If I do recall, it had it;s tounge sticking out too.

[SCReptiles]

Just when you thought we could not make a worse movie then Python, we prove you wrong!
http://secw.bravepages.com/Chuck/scr/python2logo.jpg

[LadyHawke]

well its not a snake movie, but KOMODO is a lizard movie on radio-active or nuclear exposed, which enhanced komodo dragons to an outrageous size and hunger for human flesh, wasnt good at all....

[MouseKilla]

I'm really glad some other people have seen these horrible flicks and I am going to track down the one about the antartic polar snake if it takes the rest of my life. I remember a really old one I saw, the name of which escapes me, but there was a scene with a snake that hipnotized people with it's glowing red LED eyes shining out of it's sock puppet like head from beneath a bed. Classic horror movie screaming follows. It was great.

[Invictus]

Don't you just love the huge fangs on the cover of both BOA and PYTHON? My fricken gawd...

Ok, time for me to write a snake-based B-Movie. I'm going to call it:

KENYAN SAND BOA

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, and that guy from the Listerine commercials in the goofy listerine suit.

Plot: A 10 foot Kenyan Sand Boa with a craving for human flesh and McDonald's Chicken McNuggets lies waiting beneath the sands in the hoodoos of Drumheller, Alberta, waiting to strike terror into the hearts of tourists and native Alberta pygmies. Who can stop this 10 foot creature?

Keanu: "I know Kung Fu!"

Kevin: "I want to dance!"

Listerine Dweeb: "I'm going to name the sand boa Gingivitis! Let's get it.... AAAAAAAaaaaaargh!"

Sand Boa: *GULP*

Coming soon to a projection screen in a back alley near you!

[MouseKilla]

Inv., that's brilliant! I love the casting choices...I wonder what Swayze is up to these days? Didn't you say you had a DV camera? If we can finalize a script I'm sure we could get an arts grant from the federal government. Oh, and we should try to get Denzel Washington to play a cop who has been taken off the Albertan Man Eating Boa case but persues it on his own anyway, with dangerous and sexy results. At the end of the movie it should be revealed that in fact it wasn't a snake after all but actually Ralph Klien, too drunk to get off his belly but still managing to slither about the province devouring the homeless, puking and shouting racist slogans. After Denzel reveals the truth a 20 minute wire fighting scene where Keanu and Swayze battle Klien and eventually overcome him and rid the province and the world of this menace. Ernie Eves could be featured in the sequel.

[JD@reptiles]

there was a movie called VENOMOUS, oh man that was messed. they actually had rattle snakes in some of the scenes. but most of the time they used carpet pythons. and for a kingsnake they used a black headed python. i think it would have been cheaper to use a king snake though, lol.

[Linds]

Hahaha no doubt! Those movies are brutal! Sure not helping beat out some of the ridiculous myths either :rolleyes:

[snakelover111]

the movie VENOMOUS was ok. it didnt harm snakes or nothin :)

[Billybob]

I remember a movie called Frogs, where a group of people were attacked by all kinds of reptiles including schools of cottonmouths and alligators. There was even a scene where a woman was attacked, and then devoured by a snapping turtle

[Pia]

I saw Anaconda and it was really bad. The other one I saw I think was Silent Predators - deranged venomous snakes running amok in a newly built suberb when hunky (matter of opinion) fire chief Harry Hamlin comes to the rescue, I couldn't even finish watching it. Ah, poor misunderstoood snakes. Although I know it's just entertainment, a small part of me takes offense to this depiction of snakes, it's more bad press for them even though it's fake.

[Conas]

Python makes Python II look like Lord of the Rings... I hate it when the snakes just sit there and hiss at everything and then scream like a little girl. Any of all have screaming snakes? Mine hiss.. but no screams

I liked Anaconda! >:o

[MouseKilla]

Man eating snapping turtles! ahahahaha!
Conas, you liked Anaconda? That had a screaming snake too. Not to mention that it was like 100 ft long and ate people. Oh and then when it does eat someone you can make out their face in the bulge in the snake's belly.It was awful! Not as bad as Python. I hope to God that there isn't really a Python II. Tell me you're kidding, please!

[murph]

Has noone ever heard of that early 70's movie: SSSSS now I can't rember how many S's in the title but it's just call SSSSS. It's about a Scientist and his daughter who keeps everything from Burmese pythons to Retics, to Cobras. They actually use real animals, they didn't have CGI back then. It's supposed to be horror but comes off as kinda funny, seeing all the snakes is pretty cool. Anyway they meet up with an eager young man who wants to work with the scientist and somehow they agree he'll be his guinea pig for experimenting. So he starts injecting the man with some concoction to turn him into I kid you not, an Egyptian Cobra. Eventually slowly by slowly he does...don't want to give away the ending but a very strange movie, you also get educated a little and get to see some pretty cool snakes! Even has a black mamba and Boa Constrictors that are just let loose and have the run of the house, because the scientist and daughter love the snakes, even more then people! If you see it worth checking out at least once. But for some reason the one big Cobra they have in the movie quietly growls?! lol

-murph

[Emily-Fisher]

I too saw Komodo but none of hte snake movies. Geez, they are saying how these Komodo dragons have acid saliva blah blah blah and my friend's like "How in the world does Steve Irwin catch them if they're so dangerous?" I agree, my friend is really thick-skulled but she's not the only one in the world who is. These movies lead to such misunderstanding of some species of herps.

[snake_goth]

i promis u pepol, as soon as i come a big movie maker i will make a gr8 snake movie that dus snakes justis, anny ideas for a storyline

[snake_goth]

what about aracnaphobia (i dont know how to spel it, the fear of spiders)that was realy bad for a few resons, a) how the f*** dus a spider survive a airoplane flight, dont the de-preshorise the storige??? and how dus a spider survev being set on fire for more than a second, and finely its realy sceary made my aracnaphobia times by 20.

[katev17]

dont the de-preshorise the storige???
Wah...?

Last night I watched the new blockbuster hit.... "Snake Island"...

Oh man, there was this extremely..."poisonous"... milksnake that killed the crap out of this one girl.

I SWEAR they used COPY AND PASTE(!!!!!) on the cobras (which switched from one kind of snake back to the cobra... one shot the hood's up, one shot it'd down...) And it seemed like they took a certain amount of shots of the snakes on a blue screen, then just pasted them into the movie... over and over again.......

And the snakes started DANCING. And TALKING.

Oh boy...
That was 97 mins of my life I'll never get back.

Kate

http://www.imdb.com/Trailers?0320483 <--Snake Island Trailor
http://shopping.yahoo.com/video/images/muze/dvd/sm/50/211450.jpg<--- They're in Africa... nice looking African rattlesnake

[AymKing]

I can't recall seeing any good snake movies, after one is out and everybody see's it, I do alot of talking where I work to convince people snakes are not like the snakes in anaconda. I had one guy argue with me, he really believes snakes throw up, just so they can kill and eat again, LOL what will people believe

[snakelover111]

They're in Africa... nice looking African rattlesnake lol

[reverendsterlin]

sssss was the worst I think, drug up the daughter's boyfriend so he mutates into a snake. There was some movie possibly called rattler that had a housing development being built over mutant rattlesnake dens holding 1000's of snakes

[jncoclub]

Here's JD@Reptiles VENEMOUS movie cover:

[snake_goth]

sorry for my bad spelling i had only just got up, i ment "dont thay(airoplane pepol) de-preshorise the storige"

[katev17]

I'm sorry snake_goth, I still don't understand what you mean. Don't worry about it though, I'm probably just having one of those days ;)

Kate

[Cooper]

Hi, hey this is my first post. Cool. I am a regular at arachnopets.com and I think that SnakeGoth meant"dont they(the airplane people) de-pressurize the storage area".

[lordkovacs]

hahaha...k, that makes sense

[red bootz]

Its not a snake movie but a cobra makes an appearance in "Enter the Dragon". I've always wondered, a) what type of cobra this is, and b) did Bruce Lee really catch it with his bear hands. WHACHOUUUOO!

[RaVeNo888o]

the worst thing is that in Python, the snake has fangs, that cracks me up and makes me shake my head in shame at the same time lol.. In general , snake movies suck, thought i with it werent so

[Gregg M]

I actually saw one good snake movie...... It was years ago...... It was called Mamba........ It was about this dude that locked his wife in the house and let a black mamba loose....... The movie was not that bad....... They used a real black mamba in it and did not make it look 20 ft long........ But they did make it look like it was hunting this chic down....... Alittle far fetched but not too bad....... I would watch it again if I can get my hands on the tape.......

[MouseKilla]

With that collection of horribly poisonous snakes around I'll bet your girl knows to behave herself. hahaha Of course showing her the movie would just reinforce things for ya. LOL!

[NewLineReptile]

In the movie VENOMOUS they also used rope as snakes

and in Boa the snake was to be 100' not 80' and they killed it by kicking it's A$$ out a jumbo jet so i agree with Chuck that was the worse one i have ever seen

Brandon

[SCReptiles]

Snake goth, does your computer have Microsoft word? Dude, you can type out your posts in word and then cut and paste. Just takes a second and it will spell check everything for you.

[MouseKilla]

hay tha twasdnt nace to sayy!!

[jason h]

ok now i feel really dumb cause ive seen every single one of the movies mentioned in this thread!!!!! plus crocodile 1 and 2, lake placid ,tarantula,ants,frogs,mosquito,and im sure a few others i cant remember off hand even one about radioactive cockroachs that light everything they come in contact with on fire LOL!!!

MAN I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

[RaVeNo888o]

there are movies called Frogs, and Mosquito?

[jason h]

hehe yep!! they RANK right up there with the best of them!!

[Lisa]

scream has some nasty ones... in black and white too...

as for depressurizing the cargo hold, my understanding is that it's pressurized like the rest of the plane, just for safety's sake cause people always pack stuff they shouldn't.


oh ya 8 legged freaks was funny

[mikemcguire]

Snake goth, does your computer have Microsoft word? Dude, you can type out your posts in word and then cut and paste. Just takes a second and it will spell check everything for you.

Man thats funny, I didnt know if he was doing on purpose or not so i didnt say anything LOL....

[snakemann87]

I owned Python...............I returned it:)

Never saw Boa or PythonII but I'm sure they are just as good!

[marisa]

Not a snake movie but what about that scene in Collateral Damage (sp) where they shove that snake down a guys throat! LOL

Marisa

[snakemann87]

Sounds thrilling!! I wonder how many idiots tried it? I mean.....you know SOMEONE did. Ive seen those crazy foreign ppl do it though

[Pia]

Marisa, I saw Collateral Damage. That scene made me squirm big time!!! Not because of the snake but because of the choking, what a way to die, aaahhhhhhh! I wonder if a snake would really go down someone's throat?

[snakemann87]

Yes I've seen it on TV on Ripleys Believe It Or Not

[Colonel SB]

But J-Hoe was in it...That movie rates an automatic B just for her as eye candy :) And we can';t forget Ice Cubes stunning preformance lol.

I havn't seen Boa but python sucks the a double croked letter.

[Gary D.]

I get a kick out of just how bad they can be. I'm actually starting to collect bad reptile movies. I recently found one from 1959 called the Giant Gila Monster. It's B&W and uses a live gila roaming around miniature sets. Quite hillarious. I actually like Anaconda. Being a big Creature Fom the Black Lagoon fan I get a kick out of how simmilar the movie is. But my vote for worst is on BOA as well.

GD

[SCReptiles]

I guess I am really the odd ball. I like most of these movies. I guess it’s like amateur wrestlers watching the WWE on TV. It’s not really what they want to see, but its close enough for them to still enjoy. Of course there are exceptions, Boa sucked to the high havens. Python, Python II, and King Cobra were ok. I liked Anaconda, Lake Placid, Komodo, Venomous, Croc I & II….but I was much better then II. =) I do a herp movie review thing in my website if anyone is interested in such things. www.SCReptiles.com. The link is on the bottom left.

[Invictus]

I loved Lake Placid. Oliver Platt's character was a fricken riot. :)

[MouseKilla]

I see the common thread between bad snake movies and that steroid fueled homoerotica known as pro wrestling.... a sort of perverse morbid facination with things that just should not be, like 100 ft constrictors with fangs or 250 lb men who wax their bodies and roll around together... these things are impossible for the brain to process and cause a sort of hypnotic trance...I think

[SCReptiles]

homoerotica known as pro wrestling....
I doubt you would call any of us gay to our faces.

[TheRedDragon]

*LOL* OMG Invictus!!! I can't believe I missed your post on that! :thumbsup: Geez, I'm sure your movie idea would be a hell of a lot better than the other pathetic attempts that have been made. I would pay HUGE bucks to see those three particular men eaten by a Kenyan! *LOL*


I've unfortunately seen Anaconda, Python, and Venemous *shudder* The bad acting alone was enough to put me into psychiatric care. *L*

[Oliverian]

Lol, I don't know... mabye it's just me, but I loved anaconda and lake placid, just because of the fact they were movies about reptiles. Anaconda was incredibly fake though. When it reared up, its jaw fell down like a plastic toy and when they shot it, it just exploded without falling backwards. But I liked seeing a big snake cruising around. Lake placid was good though. :) I like the shark one too, deep blue sea.

Oh yea, Komodo absolutely sucked! ~TR~

[Mr.Lizard]

I've seen most of those movies. I'm a sucker for anything starring a reptile whether the movie sucks or not.
Silly as Anaconda is I own it and watch it every once in awhile.
I'd like to get Lake Placid...the effects weren't quite as silly nor the was the story as Anaconda.
I saw Sssss! when I was a kid,I loved it! Of course now it seems pretty silly.
That 70's movie about the weird guy who lives in the swamp with a bunch of snakes to which Burmer was referring to was called Stanley. Another silly snake movie ,but fun to watch never the less. It's about a guy who keeps a bunch of rattlesnakes and these poachers who invade his swamp to poach snakes for their skin. He then uses his vipers to wreak vengeance against the poachers.

[TheRedDragon]

Originally posted by Oliverian


Oh yea, Komodo absolutely sucked! ~TR~

*groan* Oh god, you were subjected to that one too? :rolleyes: Yeah, that was a few hours of my life that I'll never get back. *L*

[SCReptiles]

Has anyone saw venom? I ordered a VHS from Europe, but I have to have it converted to the US standard before I can watch it.

[MouseKilla]

SCR, Grow a sense of humour man! I'm just talkin smack about the wrestlers anyway, I'm sure they're not all gay, I never said they were. Some of them may hit the weights and roids to compensate for some other kind of shortcoming, and who's to say what that may be? Who's face am I supposed to be saying these strange things to anyway? These oily musclemen? Or should I be boarding a plane to confront some internet tough guy? I'm puzzled man, really, help me out here.

[MouseKilla]

Inv., OPENING SCENE
Premier Ralph finishes victory speech upon winning another provincial election. He pledges to put all Albertans earning less than $60,000/yr into work camps and to make some "use" of the disabled. He stumbles away from the lecturn and into his waiting limo. "Drive, just drive.." is all he says to the driver. In the limo he downs a truly heroic amount of expensive scotch orally while linking himself to an IV bag full of grain alcohol. Then, once properly medicated, he orders the driver to pull over. The Premier tears the IV line from his arm, bursts from the limo and into a dark Edmonton alleyway. There, amongst the litter and broken glass and alley cats, the metamorphosis begins. The Premier falls to his ample belly and groans like a half-man, half-beast, scales form, limbs are absorbed, huge thirsty fangs and teeth erupt in his mouth. The transformation complete, Serpenklein disappears down the alley, it's time to eat!

[SCReptiles]

Who's face am I supposed to be saying these strange things to anyway? These oily musclemen? Or should I be boarding a plane to confront some internet tough guy? I'm puzzled man, really, help me out here.
Oh, I guess you didn’t know, I am a professional wrestler. Clear now?

[MouseKilla]

Hahaha NO I didn't know that! LOL!! What is your wrestling name? Understand that my stupid ramblings were not an attack on you, I had no way of knowing they would reflect on you personally. My comments are strictly random jabber leaking almost involuntarily out of a mind previously subjected to years of self-abuse. That said, you seem to have some rage issues, perhaps arising from your own self-abuse. Who knows? Do certain physical enhancement products cause users to become more confrontational? I'm pleased that the gym time has been profitable for you because it seems to me that most who do go to such lengths to inflate their bodies do so for reasons I cannot grasp. This leads me to wonder if they (them, not you of course) feel they are lacking in some other areas and since biceps can be made larger while other things cannot.... I don't know just a thought. Please don't hit me with a folding chair. (Just kidding again, here have one of these, no not the red ones, the little green ones, there we go wash it down with some water, excellent, and 2 for the doctor...yeah)

[Invictus]

LOL, Mouskilla... I think you've got the opening scene for my movie! You'll be in the credits for sure!

[MouseKilla]

yup some quick PhotoShop work pasting Ralph's bloated red face onto the body of the chosen snake and you're happening. Remember to apply for that National Film Board grant, they'll give anyone with half an idea, a Canadian birth certificate and a camera money.

[Tim and Julie B]

Wow. we've seen almost all of them too. Anyone seen Piranna or Rats? Just as bad. Tim saw a movie on last night called deadly sting too. Scorpions genetically enhanced run amok on a plane. Such intelligence in the film industry.

Julie

[SCReptiles]

I have seen, Piranha, Rats, and tail sting. I liked rats. Sting was awful….probably the worst out there. I was thinking there would be very hot scorpions running all over the plan, which would be cool, instead there are like 3 and they are as big as trucks!

[Invictus]

Originally posted by MouseKilla
yup some quick PhotoShop work pasting Ralph's bloated red face onto the body of the chosen snake and you're happening. Remember to apply for that National Film Board grant, they'll give anyone with half an idea, a Canadian birth certificate and a camera money.

I better apply while the Liberals are still in power too... I'm sure they'd pay through the nose to have me slander a right-winger. :)

[killaclown]

what about that movie with ll those rattle snakes...at least they used real snakes in there movie and it was truthful

[MouseKilla]

More like you better apply noq just in case the right gets elected next election (hahaha) then no one gets any money unless they already have more than they need. Those spineless Lib no-wingers don't have any strong feelings about anyone but themselves and whoever donates enough money to buy them the next election.

[chas*e]

Python was the worst...but I watched a movie called Anna-Conda that was real good but it was a Porno...it was about this overweight hooker that..well..nevermind