Teaching others to love...

[Snip3r]

Well the girl I am very much in love and have been for the last 6 months or so is terrified of snakes...and my monitors...as well as muh gecko...and HATES my tarantula. And well I really wish she wasn't because I try to spend all of my free time with my pets...now this may include her sometimes...but she wont go near me when I have a snake out. Has anyone else had this problem, or know a way to like 'introduce' her to muh pets? I tried buying her a turtle...(hyroglphic(sp??) cooter) and he loves it to death...but scared of anything she'd have to hold...

[marisa]

Then don't make her hold it.

If someone doesn't like snakes you cannot force them into it. Just keep it to yourself and one day if she is interested she will ask. If she can't handle the time you spend on your hobby, oh well. Its not her hobby. If she just doesnt want to hold them but doesnt care what you do, then its all good. Not everyone can like reptiles.

Marisa

[Brock]

Just let her gradually get used to them....from a distance. Forcing someone into something they don't want any part of isn't a smooth move, but I'm sure her curiosity will soon take over and she'll be loving every minute of it. Just let her do it on her own time, no pressure.

- Dr. Phil

[Snip3r]

Yes, I understand...its just hard as I am working, or working on my car & truck...or doing schoolwork when Im not at school. And I love my pets, as well as her, and it'd juss be easier to take her with me to shows and such...that way we could all live happily together LoL...but Im trying to ease them to her. I know forcing someone isn't any good, it can actually turn them away from that thing more then they were at the beginning.

[Wrath]

You know, in my opinion there is nothing wrong with her not liking it. Sure it upsets you that she does not have the interest that you do, but if she loves you and is around you enough she'll eventually if not warm up to them learn to be a little more tolerant. I think that if you are understanding and don't try to force anything upon her, you will each love each other for who you are.

The worst is the people that are close to you who scorn or scoff you for your interests. I dated a few people like that and let me tell you it is no fun. It's like, how many times can you really tolerate someone telling you that you should feed your snakes hamburger! :grumps:

[Linds]

Well, my boyfriend isn't scared of snakes but he isn't interested in them in the least. He doesn't complain or anything if I ask for his help, or if we have to start a movie late because I'm not quite finished up feeding. So thats ok. If your girlfriend is willing to accept that thats what you do, then I think thats all that matters and you can't expect anymore from her. Of course it would be perfect if the ones we loved loved the same things we did, but it usually doesn't work that way...

[Invictus]

I say DUMP HER! How could you date a herp hater? TRAITOR! LOL, just kidding man. I'm glad I found someone who loves snakes as much as I do. Now if only I could get her off this tarantula kick she's on.... *shudder*. To give my own phobia as a shining example, don't try to force her to love herps. If she decides to come around, she'll have plenty available to her to handle.

[Smilts]

My wife was terrified of snakes when i resued and brought home are first one she threatened to leave me. I told her i would take care of it and never get it out if she was around. That was about three months ago. Friday we are picking up her new little Checkered garter for her birthday.

[Mike177]

if it is important to you that she toleats snakes try letting her just obseve snakes and work down up try a baby corn snake and move up from there. but hey it dosent matter if she like snakes or not but that she likes you! i am shure as your relationship contenues to gradualy get more and more serous she will aventualy come around just dont be TOO forcefull

[Steeve B]

my advice to you; no more foot massages no more back rub and no more candy until she cares for your herps, call me drastic but thats the only way to go!
Unless you want to end up like me? 14 wonderfull happy years with a woman none herper.
Rgds

[lilyskip]

I agree with what has been said so far about not forcing her. Also, mentally accept the fact that she may NEVER like snakes. Maybe this won't be an obstacle in your relationship, maybe it means she's not the person for you. Either she will see how much time you spend with your snakes and decide to share you with your pets, or she will get upset and pull the "it's them or me" thing, or perhaps you can all live in peace and keep the two worlds separate. Who knows, but that's what I see.

[TheRedDragon]

Yes, don't force the issue on herps with her, give her time, and, as lilyskip said, do be prepared that she may never come around to liking them. As an example, Invictus has a spider phobia, and I seriously want to get a tarantula. I set conditions with him IE: I won't take it out while he's there, and he said he'd think about it. He may possibly never come around to even tolerating them, but, all that matters is that I'm with him, and the same goes for you, if the love is strong enough in your relationship and you can work around her phobia, you'll get over this issue. :)

[drewlowe]

Yep i agree with everyone. she'll come around or she won't. Don't force her and you'll be better off.

Oh invictus get over your fear and be a man. LOL j/k Nah T. really aren't that bad. I only have one and she's a rose hair and i'm petrified of spiders and T.'s i've had her for over 1 1/2 years and have only held her twice. But i sure do love watching her. So go on let red dragon at least have one. *nudge* *nudge*

[Invictus]

*Thinking about it*

.
.
.

No.

:D

Seriosuly though, I am thinking about it, but there is more than my phobia on the line here. I also have an anaphylactic allergy t insect bites. One mosquito bite gives me inch-deep hives over my entire body. Can you imagine what a T. bite would do to me? The "T" might as well stand for T-Rex. :)

[Mike177]

lol,
invictus, considering you look like rob zombie and a little like Jesus (but let concentrate more on the rob zombie analogy) you wouldn't think you would be scared of a little t. just give it a shot man! i am a snake person inside out but t. are relay docile creatures. just think if you where trying to get someone to hold a snake and they didn't want to would you think that they should just try it before they rule it out? just try it sometime, it will probably come as a big relief when/if you get over it.

[burmer]

I guess I've been lucky. My wife accepts my obsession (i mean hobby). Shes never been afraid to handle any of my snakes, she won't touch the nile though. She handles the burms, the kings, and the blood with no fear at all. She is even excited about going to shows.
So don't try to force her to handle or keep bringing it up. You never know she may suprise you and come around. Good luck.

[sapphire_moon]

She may surprise you and come around, yes, but as lilyskip said she may never come around. My partner has been tagged by a few snakes garters, and a water moccosin (sp??) so she has went from interested in watching him eat to let me feed him! and even helping me clean the viv's and so far as to let me get another baby bp, and being worried to death when she kept refusing to eat. This has been over a course of over 1 1/2 years. And she has fell in love with the piebald bp, but that will be a while before we get one.........you could be together for 5 years before she just randomly one day says..."I want a...*insert breed of snake* for my birthday/christmas/next show..." Me and my partner has agreed that we would love a columbian red tailed when we get into another place!!!!!!!!! So give it time, it could be days/months/ or even years, but it could also be not at all! also might try to show her something smaller....like an anole....that was my first herp.........but those little suckers bite!

[TheRedDragon]

Originally posted by Mike177
lol,
invictus, considering you look like rob zombie and a little like Jesus (but let concentrate more on the rob zombie analogy) you wouldn't think you would be scared of a little t.

My thoughts exactly...you know how weird it is to see a scary MF like that running away from a wee spider? *L* I myself dislike spiders...I'm slowly getting over my arachnaphiobia; that's one of the reasons why I want to get a T., I feel that one other way to get over fears (in my case anyways) is exposure.