Everything you wanted to know about Canada...

[Zoe]

Hehe, thought some of these were funny. Admittedly I don't get a couple of them...

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)


A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[Tim and Julie B]

Hahahaha:D that's really funny! Honestly, why does everyone think we have Polar bears just running around everwhere?

[gonesnakee]

I can relate. You should of heard the questions I was asked when I previously worked in places like Texas & S. Africa. Its funny how wild & untamed we all are here in Canada, even the Africans thought so, LOL Mark I.
P.S. Yes many people believe we have nothing but snow & ice!

[Lisa]

Reminds me of "This hour has 22 minutes" and some of the questions they ask people.

[ThEmAdHaTtEr]

You forgot:
Q: Do Canadians really say "aboot"?
A: (I wanna know...) :)

[Tim and Julie B]

They just had a funny story on the radio from a lady that works in the Infromation booth in Vernon BC. An American asked if he could be in Montreal in time for dinner. :confused: When I was working for an American company I was asked if New Foundland was beside BC. Ya ok Canada is a tiny little slip of land just big enough to land a plane on. Honestly maybe schools should have a world map as well as an American one then maybe just maybe people would learn about the rest of the world.

[Clownfishie]

LMAO -- those are funny ;) There were a few that didn't make sense to me either, but I'm sure that those are funny too if you know what they're referring to... LOL :)

[JeffT]

Yeah I know!!!!! I HATE IT when im talking to some american and they are like..so what do you name your pet polar bear? Its so annoying, hey people our 30C is the same as your 90F. That means its not a winter wonder land all year round. Ugh it feels great to get that off my chest lol

[JeffT]

Just a question... In american school do they teach you anything about Canada? In ours we learn a TON about you guys and I could name about 40 states. Just wonderin haha

[gonesnakee]

Hey Madhatter they only say "aboot" usually East of Quebec eh. I say usually because I'm from Calgary & ya always get the "Newfies" "aboot" 'ere looking for work in the "patch" eh, LOL!
Mark

[dank7oo]

LOL....how true it is!

[dank7oo]

french candian breakfast

2 hotcake, 2 egg up sunny side, 2 toast all wet with butter, 2 milk in coffee all black, bacon on plate, dripping with grease

maybe if you read it it isnt funny, but if you hear my dad say it it is!

[daver676]

Canada Rules!

[Colonel SB]

Those are good, I love it when americans ask stupid question it's so much fun to anwser ;)

[Christina]

Actually in regards to the "aboot"
It is not just the nefies u know.
I speak with people from the US everyday and they can pick it up from me all of the time it is a sure hit that I am Canadian. I am definately not from Newfoundland.
Yes I get asked silly questions all of the time.
But it is just like some Canadians assuming that no where in the US gets snow, or they all say hu instead of eh.
Or they are all rude.
That is a funny post for sure. Got a good chuckle.
Christina

[BWSmith]

Just a question... In american school do they teach you anything about Canada?
It's not that they don't try to teach it, it is just that noone cares LOL :p

Q: How long does Crayola have the contract to make your money? :D

Q: Can we trade ya'll Minnisota for good beer?

Q: Is it required that every Canadian under 30 have at least 4 appendages pierced?

Q: What is with the Maple Leaf? A Daisy would be more intimidating LOL

[Dozer]

I was watching some show and some Canadian guy was runnin' around the streets of America saying that Canada jsut legalized the use of a stapler and what not... lol... these people were saying ya how important it is for the economy. It was jokes.
Then they asked people about the battle of Albekerque ( bad spelling, but the battle b/w Mexico and USA for land ) and people didn't know aboooot it!!! lol

[reptilez]

that gave me a good laugh,
thanx Zoe:D

[jncoclub]

Honestly, I don't recall learning a thing about Canada in school other than Canada and the US have the largest touching border. We never got into it, and frankly, no one asked. Not to sound unconcerned or anything but when someone asks me what I think of Canada, I think of two things:
1- they are a big o'l country north of the US just chill'n up there with nothing big going on becasue they're never in our news (which I really don't see as being a bad thing.)
2- they are the supporters of a kick a$$ website.

But that's just another foolish american talk'n...

[Invictus]

I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking aboot, eh? :D

[Invictus]

Originally posted by BWSmith

Q: How long does Crayola have the contract to make your money? :D



They backed out of the contract. We now get it printed in Cuba because, well, we're still allowed to! :)


Q: Can we trade ya'll Minnisota for good beer?


Minnesota??? Hell no. Put Florida up for grabs and we'll think aboot it. :)


Q: Is it required that every Canadian under 30 have at least 4 appendages pierced?


The law was recently changed to everyone under 25. But we're still allowed to drink at 18 or 19, depending on the province.


Q: What is with the Maple Leaf? A Daisy would be more intimidating LOL [/B]

We lost a bet with Quebec.

Hope this helps! :)

[jncoclub]

:mednormal
I even thought those were some pretty darn good responses. Nice!

[Tim and Julie B]

Curious....why wouldn't Americans care enough to learn about our country. Canada is the States biggest allie and trade partner. We are lucky enough to have the largest unprotected border in the world. We are neighbors. So why wouldn't you want to? And the reason you don't hear about anything Canadian is that American Tv never tells you about what we help accomplish. The best example of this is the Canada arm on the space shuttle (we built that) but on American TV it is called the space arm. Why? Can't they acknowledge another countries achievements? No wonder Americans usually think Canada is free loading. They never hear about how much we help or it gets taken forgrantted. Anyways I could go on for ever about this. All I can say is come up for a visit! No there is no snow! It is 70 degrees F and it isn't even 10:30 were I am.

[jncoclub]

I have no problems with Canada. Actually, I'm quite interested in going there sometime. I'm in Connecticut now and may be moving to Washington state in a couple months- both not too far from the border. It's not that I (and my fellow classmates) didn't care to learn about it in school- it was never really proposed to us as a school subject to go in depth about. You have to look at it in the way that say I never knew Canada exsisted as a small kid- how would I know to ask and learn about it back then? As for my lack of knowledge on it now, call it laziness.

[Alicewave]

Actually we learned quite a bit about Canada. The explorers mostly. Can't say I remember any of it. But I don't really remember much about American History either. Funny thread though.

[damzookeeper]

Originally posted by ThEmAdHaTtEr
You forgot:
Q: Do Canadians really say "aboot"?
A: (I wanna know...) :)

The only time I say "aboot" is when I'm yelling at my daughter in the middle of winter....
"There's "a boot" in the hallway and "a boot" on the stair, pick them up before someone breaks their neck on them!!" lol

[damzookeeper]

Originally posted by Christina
Actually in regards to the "aboot"
It is not just the nefies u know.
I speak with people from the US everyday and they can pick it up from me all of the time it is a sure hit that I am Canadian. I am definately not from Newfoundland.
Yes I get asked silly questions all of the time.
But it is just like some Canadians assuming that no where in the US gets snow, or they all say hu instead of eh.
Or they are all rude.
That is a funny post for sure. Got a good chuckle.
Christina

I say hu and eh? lol. Funny thing is I never used to say eh till I started picking on other people for saying it so much. lol. I also say "ya'll" got that one from my american cousins I guess. lol
Oh, and I definately say roof not ruff. lol

[Kara]

I love it when you can convince people from other countries funny things about Canada. When I was backpacking through England I had a whole hostle convinced that when Canadaians go through customs it is the law that we put the Canadaian flag/maple leaf on our backpacks somewhere! A few where even saying things like "But I know a someone from Canada, and she doesn't have one on her!" I had to tell them all later that I was playing with their minds. They took it really well and laughed at their gulability;)

[python_diva_06]

ok...those questions were really stupid...i don't live in Canada and i'v never been there, but, i have enough common since to know the answers to the questions those idiots were asking...

[Jacenta]

Actually, I am from PEI, one of the most eastern provinces in Canada, and I've never heard anyone say "aboot" in my life, especially not here on the island. I wouldn't go as far saying all the provinces east of Quebec say it.

[Steve Koozer]

Well Great Brittan is the States Biggest allie (very large well trained nuclear power) They spend more to operate one of their nuclear aircraft carriers per year than we spend on our whole millitary.As far as trade goes we got to be the biggest we send so much oil and gas and hydro to the States it would shock you.I think Japan is way up there too though so it could be a toss up.Minn for beer? hmmm I have been there and outside of the major populations you would swear you were talking to canadan's.


Well good day eh
I start the bidding for the state of minn with 28 pack of Molson Canadian 12 Labbats blue And a six of cans of Club



Kooz

[hudson]

No, it's obvious that the states don't teach anything about Canada in school. I live in Niagara Falls and I work at the casino we get thousands of Americans here every summer. We have people showing up in the middle of July with skiies strapped to the roof of their car and wandering were all the snow is, and asking what's the latest at night they can go see the falls before they turn it off for the night (naturally occuring.cannot be turned off), and quite a few other very dumb questions. It seems the only things they do learn about Canada is that the drinking age is 19 and you don't have to pay taxes on your winnings at the casino and at bingo.

[Monkeys]

I have a friend that lives somehwere in weatern canada who was chased by a bear[not polar] while sledding or while riding one of those snowmachine thingies[as you can till I'm not used to seeing or being around snow]. But she lived in like some frontier place really snowy and not heavily populated by anything.

[Christina]

I never realised that I say aboot until it was pointed out to me by an American.
I am 29 years old!
Nobody really knows their accent untill it is pointed out to them by somebody in another country.
Everybody does not believe they have an accent it is the other people that do.
Because the English language is the most popular and strived for in learning as a second language we take it for granted that it is not considered to have an accent just the people who learn it have the accent.
Yes we do say "hu" but as in a form of a question instead of "what" or "pardon"
We use "eh" as a slang at the end of a sentence to accentuate the point.
When the aboot is pointed out the only way to stress the accent we have for about is to write it that way. We do not stress the "U" in our dialogue where as most Americans do in their pronounciation. We ourselves can say that is their accent in turn they can say it is ours.
Speak with Americans for 7.5 hrs a day and you will pick it up and notice the difference with the words house out about mouse etc any word that has an "ou" in it.
Just like the Dutch do not pronounce the "th" or the Australians really stress their "a"
As for the education half of it I cannot remember any of the American history I was taught in school at all.
We are a quiet uneventfull country (untill recently with all of these lovely diseases that were going around) and I would like to keep it that way, that is what makes us special. That is what makes living in Canada such a wonderfull thing. We have alot less fears living here than the majority of other countries.
That is why I do not worry what other countries are taught about our history because honestly the only thing that you learn any more about other countries is war, violence, and poverty.
This is not to come across as controversal it is meant as my opinion only. And me being me well I felt the need to share :)
Christina

[Pookie]

Ha, it's so true how americans view you all! I live in Massachusetts (one of those states down there) :) and i know nothing about Canada except that you can drink at 18! LOL, that's the only reason why i've been there! And i love the "aboot" thing, it's great, eh! :) hehe! You guys are great! Thanks for the insight!

[tHeGiNo]

LMAO! I was in washington about a month ago. We were in a building I forget the name and some girls asked me for 5 bucks. My friend stated that we are from Canada and don't have that kind of money. They then proceeded to say that we CAN'T be from Canada, we don't speak French! LMAO! That gave me a good laugh. The only thing that I have against Americans is the false credit and lack of respect we are given for the wars and our achievements. In particular, the first one that comes to mind is the battle of Vimy Ridge in the First World War. I read a few sites that credited Americans for that battle and didn't even MENTION Canada. Aw well...

[Lisa]

Originally posted by Christina
Speak with Americans for 7.5 hrs a day



Lucky I have a minimum of 8 hours a day.

[jncoclub]

I used to watch Degrassi Jr, High and Degrassi High as a kid. There was my education.