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beth wallbank
04-28-03, 08:16 AM
thought this was too funny as I have more than once seen or heard a few of these in real life and thought to myself, are there really idiots out there?


-IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair
people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked
if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked,
"Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how
he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested
that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a
telephone line?).



IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I
had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that
she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just
signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.



IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign
on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't
want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently been with some of
these people...



IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg.



IDIOT SIGHTING #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I
replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled
knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."



IDIOT SIGHTING #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was
for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,
she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"



IDIOT SIGHTING #3:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company
due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should
do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other
with that deer- in-the-headlights stare.



IDIOT SIGHTING #4:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for
the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.



IDIOT SIGHTING #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and
found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's
open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."





Now don't you feel better?








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Nanashi04
04-28-03, 08:30 AM
heheh! That's great.

I've got one:

My friend Lois and I went to Sonic for some quick food after school one day. As we ate our greasy burgers and fries, and cop car drove by. On the way home, we passed a gass station. Lois turns to me, and just as causual as can be asks, "Do cop cars need gas? I've never seen one there."

(the worst part is - that's a true story.)

Tim and Julie B
04-28-03, 10:10 AM
My friend was over with his girlfriend. We were sitting in the living room. She gasps and says "Oh my god that fish has an ambillical (sp) cord!" I look over to see my gold fish taking a dump. Wow!:D

Linds
04-28-03, 10:34 AM
LMAO! Great stories! :p

Lisa
04-28-03, 02:00 PM
I work as a tech support agent... here's a sample of one of my calls.

Customer: I'm trying to install the software and i've been waiting for the software to download from the internet for over an hour now. It's been stuck at 54% for an hour now"

Techsupport (me): Ok so have you connected the printer to your
computer yet?

Customer: No, I've only stuck in this disc you guys gave me.

Techsupport: Ok, thats great. Do you see anything else on your screen?

Customer: Yes there's this window that says "Next" on it.

Techsupport: Ok click "Next".

Customer: Ok now it says "Access agreement"

Techsupport: Ok click on accept then keep hitting next.

..... eventually the customer clued in.

Niki
04-28-03, 02:33 PM
I overheard two young women talking about their boyfriends on the train to work once. One told the other her boyfriend was ambidextrous to which her mate replied " you mean he can use both feet" Classic!

JasonBrennan
04-28-03, 04:49 PM
To address the first statement, my email works with out a phone line. Crawl out of the dark ages and get a cable modem!!! (just kidding)